Halloween falls on a Monday this year, which means that most NFL players were too busy playing football yesterday to put together awesome home-made costumes. Luckily for them, we’re here to help them out with some suggestions for quick and easy costumes they can buy at the store.
Aaron Rodgers as Hulk Hogan
He’s the reigning champ and he’s proven he can pull off the handlebar mustache. Plus, we know that he already has a championship belt.
Alex Smith as a zombie
Alex Smith is widely regarded as a bust, yet he’s somehow earned back the starting quarterback job for the team that drafted him in 2005. Now, it looks like he’s leading them to the playoffs. If that’s not coming back from the dead, I don’t know what is.
Joe Flacco as Bert from Sesame Street
Flacco has thrown for 8 touchdowns and 6 interceptions this season, but his most impressive stat is that he currently leads the league in fewest eyebrows.
Sam Bradford as a beaver
What can we say? The guy really, really looks like a beaver. He should embrace it.
Andy Dalton as Little Orphan Annie
He has red hair. LOLOLOL!
Chris Johnson as Rick James
He’s rich, bitch! Johnson got paid this off-season and now it looks like he doesn’t give a crap about being an NFL player.
Marshawn Lynch as a Predator
On second thought, Lynch can probably save the money he would have spent on a Predator costume and just go trick-or-treating in a gray t-shirt. No one will be able to tell.
Calvin Johnson as Megatron
This one is so obvious that it feels like cheating. If Calvin can’t find a Megatron costume at the store, he can just go with a Superman costume instead. Or a God costume.
Mike Wallace as The Flash
Honestly, The Flash should probably go as Mike Wallace for Halloween.
Chad Ochocino as a Patriots fan
New England fans get dressed up on game day and cheer on the Patriots from the sidelines. So does Chad!
Antonio Cromartie as Super Sperm
Cromartie has nine kids with eight different women in six states. He’s earned the right to wear this costume.
Brett Keisel as Santa Claus
Alternate costume suggestion: Guy from ZZ Top.
Rex Ryan as a pumpkin
Frankly, there are many coaches in the NFL world who could fill out this costume. Maybe Rex can get together with his brother Rob, Andy Reid, Mike McCarthy and Romeo Crennel to form a pumpkin brigade.